(Psalm 46:10)

We recently began a fictional series about the life of Cecil whom the Lord brought to live at Shiloh Ministries. If you would like a copy of the earlier installments, please ask us. This month, Cecil is learning to know God as he adjusts to his fellowship times with Him at Shiloh.

It is mind boggling to think I have been at Shiloh for one month. Years ago, I heard that it takes 30 days to change a habit.  I am coming to understand that I am not here to merely change some bad habits, but I am here so that I may learn to understand more about the character of God Almighty.  I am studying about His power and how He hurled the stars in the infinite universe and divided the red sea for His children to pass through as they were exiting Egypt’s bondage. This God I am being introduced to is remarkably bigger and more alive than anyone or anything, and yet He is at the same time so intimate with those who will call upon Him and desire for Him to reside in their hearts. These concepts are too vast for my mind to grasp in only 30 days, but if I can grasp them, my very being will be forever changed.  I am being told by my teachers at Shiloh that it will take a life time and then all of eternity to know this God who gave His life for me.

A significant part of my daily schedule here is spent in what the leaders of Shiloh call a “Quiet Time.”  At first, I could not imagine setting aside time each day just to be quiet.  I never had heard of this before.  I now really look forward to this time. The time is designated for the sole purpose of sitting patiently and silently before the Lord with my Bible.  It is a personal time with the Holy Spirit that is designated as a time for me to read, meditate on my readings, and inquire of the Lord.  I am learning that this is the most important part of my day. This time is truly developing my personal relationship with God.  Before I met God in the hotel room in Oregon, I did not know that God existed, let alone that He would actually sit with me and converse with me.  The more intimate I become with God, He demonstrates to me that my spending time interacting with Him is what He longs for and why He sent His Son Jesus to die.  God has always yearned for, and I am learning to yearn for, precious time that we can spend fellowshipping together.

During my Quiet Times, I am journaling my conversations with God.  I am being instructed to sit quietly and allow God to speak back to me.  Sometimes I look back in my journal and review what God and I shared.  I am a grown man who was always told not to cry, but now, I am so profoundly being touched that I cry.  This relationship with my Creator is what I have been searching for.  Drugs never sustained me or gave me life.  Instead, the drugs repeatedly robbed me.  They kept me numb and deafened my ears to God’s voice.  Drugs kept me isolated and apart from God.  The drugs and addiction were tools that Satan used for so many years in my life.  Drugs left me hopeless, defeated, and depressed.  My intimate times with God are what I now know I was created for.  I am so thankful that He never gave up on me.  He waited on me patiently when I was so blind and foolish.  I do not understand His great love toward me, but I receive it.  I have eleven months left at Shiloh. The first month zoomed by.  It has been the most meaningful time of my entire life.  God has allowed me to find Him, and I can surely testify that He is good, and it is He that I have longed for.  Today in my journal I penned:
- Father God …… Thank you for saving my soul and delivering me from destruction. Thank you for the Blood of Jesus. I am thankful that I now have relationship with you. I can never re-pay you for all you have done for me. I yield my life to you today. I ask that you guide me every moment of this 24 hour period. I need you. I want you. I can not live with out you. Please help me to continue my time here at Shiloh. I desire to finish strong. Help me Sir to be restored in my relationship with my wife, my daughter and my son. I have caused them much pain. I have not fulfilled my duties as a husband and a dad. I long to do so. Please soften their hearts toward me. I want back all that I allowed Satan to steal. Father God watch over my family. Protect them, provide for them, and draw them to you. As I grow at Shiloh, give my family spiritual growth as well. Father God I am yours. I no longer belong to myself. Thank you for the place you have brought me to. Give my Shiloh Leaders wisdom in every decision they need to make today. Father God help me and the other students to walk in unity and love. We have so many different personalities and back grounds. Forgive me Lord when I am prideful. Help me to walk in humility and love. I admit sometimes several of my brothers have touched a nerve in me. I have been cold at times toward some of them. Dear God help me to be kind and tenderhearted toward all of my brothers here at Shiloh. Some of my leaders are younger than I am. Dear God help me to receive from them. I know that you have placed them in authority over me. Help me to think pure thoughts toward them. Father God help me draw closer to you today. Speak to me Lord by your Spirit I pray in Jesus Name.
- The Holy Spirit spoke to my spirit…… Cecil, I have indeed waited for you my son. I have watched you and hovered about you, longing for a relationship with you. There will be many more meetings ahead. I meet with those who invite me.  I never bombard a man.  I am more than enough for everything that concerns you.  Have I not said, “I will perfect that which concerns you.” Psalms 138:8. I am softening your wife and your children’s’ hearts. I never do anything partially. I see the big picture.  It is I alone who has the entire data base. Be of Good cheer. Worship me Cecil. Obey me this day. Trust me. Continue your fellowship with me. I have much to tell you and to show you. I love you, and I have great plans for you and your family.

Now I know that life begins when we give every aspect of our heart to God. I hope and fervently pray that God’s people will not forsake times of meeting with Him every day. Being at Shiloh, I now realize how busy, noisy, and distracting the world is. I must not ever again allow anything to prevent me from keeping a daily appointment with God.  I allowed drugs and selfishness to rob me of my relationship with God. It is my prayer that others will not allow selfish pursuits, and even well meaning good things in life such as family, friends, and jobs to crowd out a daily meeting time with God.  We can each find all strength, and all we will need in each day in our own personal one on one daily meeting with Him. “The Lord is my Shepherd”. (Psalms 23:1-6)

Shiloh Ministry Team